Okay okay, since you asked...
So a few weeks ago our bishop asked us to speak in church today... topic = thankfulness. Great, we'd love to speak. Perfect topic for November. So I've been thinking about it off and on since then, and even wrote down a few thoughts last weekend, but of course I waited until yesterday to actually sit down and write the whole thing. We we spent our rainy (but 65 degree) Saturday writing our talks, doing laundry, vacuuming, that kind of stuff... finished writing the talk, felt pretty good about it, went to bed.
Could NOT sleep. Don't know why.
(Oh yeah, I'm a whale trying to sleep in a humans bed and there just isn't room for me!)
Got out of bed this morning to get ready for church, could find NOTHING to wear, and my hair was absolutely bouzouki since I haven't cut it in months and there is no where around here to get a haircut (really missed you today, Sara!)... which normally wouldn't matter to me so much but you know when you are speaking in church, you want to look semi decent. So since my hair took so long to figure out (never quite figured it out actually), I ran out of time to eat breakfast.
Well since I'm such a pig, I mean pregnant, I couldn't just go without eating. So I quickly heated up some oatmeal, 2 packages mind you... (Since you can actually be a pig at the same time as being pregnant.) I thought I'd just eat it in the car during our 22 minute drive to church. Couldn't be late today! Picked up my talk, picked up my scriptures, (thank goodness I hadn't picked up my coach bag), picked up my oatmeal, DROPPED my oatmeal along with my scriptures and talk (now you see why it's a good thing I hadn't picked up my coach bag yet).
Oatmeal (2 packages remember?) flies EVERYWHERE... no really, it literally flew everywhere. I scream (but did not swear), Rob thinks my water broke and runs downstairs... He sees the oatmeal, thinks I threw up, starts gagging (okay not really) but he does stare at me like, "What in the world are you doing?!?"
Okay, we HAVE to leave or we are going to be late for church, which normally wouldn't be such a big deal (we were a few minutes late the Sunday morning we caught the mouse...) except that we are speaking in church. I try to wash the oatmeal off me, my talk (hopefully those paragraphs are memorized), and my scriptures the best I can... Rob grabs a rag and at least attempts to wipe down ONE of the walls that has oatmeal splattered all over it, and finally I just decide (okay more like I yell) "Just leave it! We'll have to clean it up later! We can't be late!" with tears streaming down my cheeks. Boy am I glad I put mascara on today.
So we left, what else could I do? We left the oatmeal splattered every where. I cry the whole way to church, starving mind you since I didn't get to EAT my breakfast, and we get there at 8:55. I put on a smile, (Rob's been laughing the whole drive because he thinks this is all SO funny) and we walk into church. I say hi to a few people, smile at a few babies, and make my way to the stand. Oh, but wait, there are people already in our seats... you know.. the designated "speaker seats"... Hm mm, that's odd. How funny that they would ask four adults to speak in the same meeting. OH! WHAT'S THAT YOU SAY? We're NOT speaking today? The stake PATRIARCH is speaking today along with the former bishop about tithing? OH! THAT'S FUNNY! I SWEAR WE WERE SUPPOSED TO SPEAK TODAY. ( o: Our bishop isn't even in town this weekend to uphold our claim that we're supposed to speak, and the stake people obviously take precedence, so we go find our other seats among the commoners. And as the meeting begins, I turn to Rob and say, "We should have cleaned up the oatmeal."
Fast forward to Relief Society: "Melissa you have something in your hair..." "Oh, it's probably just oatmeal."
Fast forward to after church: "I'm just going to ask Brother Cahoon and make sure we are speaking next week." (Since Rob had actually invited some friends from school to come to church and luckily none of them could make it today... but would "love to come another time.") No... next week is for sure the high councilman week. And we've got the next week covered, so we'll for sure get you guys in December.
But our talk is on Thanksgiving.
Oh. Well... that's okay... Christmas is about Thanksgiving too.
Huh?
Fast forward to dreadfully returning home to the oatmeal: The whole way home all I could picture was that scene in the movie Chocolate when the city mayor breaks into the chocolate shop during lent and goes wild and then passes out in the middle of all the chocolate, stuffed... except this time it would be a mouse in oatmeal.
We get home and the oatmeal is dried and crusted onto everything.
Rob says, "Our kids are never eating oatmeal... In fact, they are never eating anything."
Fast forward 2 hours: The oatmeal is finally cleaned up.
Oh, and there is still oatmeal in my hair.
Sorry I didn't take a picture... but that is one mess I refuse to reenact.
Aren't you glad you asked?
So a few weeks ago our bishop asked us to speak in church today... topic = thankfulness. Great, we'd love to speak. Perfect topic for November. So I've been thinking about it off and on since then, and even wrote down a few thoughts last weekend, but of course I waited until yesterday to actually sit down and write the whole thing. We we spent our rainy (but 65 degree) Saturday writing our talks, doing laundry, vacuuming, that kind of stuff... finished writing the talk, felt pretty good about it, went to bed.
Could NOT sleep. Don't know why.
(Oh yeah, I'm a whale trying to sleep in a humans bed and there just isn't room for me!)
Got out of bed this morning to get ready for church, could find NOTHING to wear, and my hair was absolutely bouzouki since I haven't cut it in months and there is no where around here to get a haircut (really missed you today, Sara!)... which normally wouldn't matter to me so much but you know when you are speaking in church, you want to look semi decent. So since my hair took so long to figure out (never quite figured it out actually), I ran out of time to eat breakfast.
Well since I'm such a pig, I mean pregnant, I couldn't just go without eating. So I quickly heated up some oatmeal, 2 packages mind you... (Since you can actually be a pig at the same time as being pregnant.) I thought I'd just eat it in the car during our 22 minute drive to church. Couldn't be late today! Picked up my talk, picked up my scriptures, (thank goodness I hadn't picked up my coach bag), picked up my oatmeal, DROPPED my oatmeal along with my scriptures and talk (now you see why it's a good thing I hadn't picked up my coach bag yet).
Oatmeal (2 packages remember?) flies EVERYWHERE... no really, it literally flew everywhere. I scream (but did not swear), Rob thinks my water broke and runs downstairs... He sees the oatmeal, thinks I threw up, starts gagging (okay not really) but he does stare at me like, "What in the world are you doing?!?"
Okay, we HAVE to leave or we are going to be late for church, which normally wouldn't be such a big deal (we were a few minutes late the Sunday morning we caught the mouse...) except that we are speaking in church. I try to wash the oatmeal off me, my talk (hopefully those paragraphs are memorized), and my scriptures the best I can... Rob grabs a rag and at least attempts to wipe down ONE of the walls that has oatmeal splattered all over it, and finally I just decide (okay more like I yell) "Just leave it! We'll have to clean it up later! We can't be late!" with tears streaming down my cheeks. Boy am I glad I put mascara on today.
So we left, what else could I do? We left the oatmeal splattered every where. I cry the whole way to church, starving mind you since I didn't get to EAT my breakfast, and we get there at 8:55. I put on a smile, (Rob's been laughing the whole drive because he thinks this is all SO funny) and we walk into church. I say hi to a few people, smile at a few babies, and make my way to the stand. Oh, but wait, there are people already in our seats... you know.. the designated "speaker seats"... Hm mm, that's odd. How funny that they would ask four adults to speak in the same meeting. OH! WHAT'S THAT YOU SAY? We're NOT speaking today? The stake PATRIARCH is speaking today along with the former bishop about tithing? OH! THAT'S FUNNY! I SWEAR WE WERE SUPPOSED TO SPEAK TODAY. ( o: Our bishop isn't even in town this weekend to uphold our claim that we're supposed to speak, and the stake people obviously take precedence, so we go find our other seats among the commoners. And as the meeting begins, I turn to Rob and say, "We should have cleaned up the oatmeal."
Fast forward to Relief Society: "Melissa you have something in your hair..." "Oh, it's probably just oatmeal."
Fast forward to after church: "I'm just going to ask Brother Cahoon and make sure we are speaking next week." (Since Rob had actually invited some friends from school to come to church and luckily none of them could make it today... but would "love to come another time.") No... next week is for sure the high councilman week. And we've got the next week covered, so we'll for sure get you guys in December.
But our talk is on Thanksgiving.
Oh. Well... that's okay... Christmas is about Thanksgiving too.
Huh?
Fast forward to dreadfully returning home to the oatmeal: The whole way home all I could picture was that scene in the movie Chocolate when the city mayor breaks into the chocolate shop during lent and goes wild and then passes out in the middle of all the chocolate, stuffed... except this time it would be a mouse in oatmeal.
We get home and the oatmeal is dried and crusted onto everything.
Rob says, "Our kids are never eating oatmeal... In fact, they are never eating anything."
Fast forward 2 hours: The oatmeal is finally cleaned up.
Oh, and there is still oatmeal in my hair.
Sorry I didn't take a picture... but that is one mess I refuse to reenact.
Aren't you glad you asked?
5 comments:
This is Scott. I was reading your post outloud so that Helen could hear it and I was CRACKING UP when I got to the part about Rob laughing the whole way to church. When I read that part outloud Helen exclaimed, "Husbands can be such JERKS!"
Anyway, this was hilarious, or really sad and tragic, or whatever it's supposed to be.
Helen wanted me to let you know that we're making Hot Chocolate and were just thinking about taking it over to the home of some new friends that we don't know very well and starting a spontaneous marshmallow fight! And who knows, maybe that would lead to them becoming some of our best friends ever!...Wait, I guess that's already been done :)
Missing you guys. Take care!
Oh, honey. I have tears streaming down my face because I am laughing so hard at this. I don't think there's a worse morning than the one you had on Sunday. Bwwaaaah.
Sorry, trying to stop laughing. But it's just. so. funny.
Hey Melissa,
At least you had 22 minutes to semi-get yourself together:) :) :) If you still lived here you would have only had like 2 minutes, and Rob wouldn't have had a lot of time to laugh. Men. You are looking great. When is the big date?????
Oh, and by the way, you do know that Jodi Picoult has like 20 books???? I have read about 15 of them and they are all pretty good. I read My Sisters Keeper, loved it.
Darci
I'm sorry you had to have a bad day in order for me to have a good laugh! If you haven't laughed about all this yet, you will someday :-) Thanks for sharing! Your belly looks so cute by the way. Oh, and I was worried...and still am, that you didn't get to eat until after church! I would have left and gone OUT for breakfast when I realized that I wasn't speaking! Good for you for sticking it out!
Oh Sweetie... I am so proud of you for staying at church. You rock.
I am also glad you got this in writing... one day you really will look back on this and die laughing... kind of like wetting the bed, it is really funny AFTER the fact. (Actually, I still laugh about that one...☺)
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